It’s Great to Be Single

Every single person who has been active in the dating world has experienced that same day – one that I like to refer to as, “the time after.” “The time after” is, as it may suggest, the day after a relationship has ended.

Whether the finale of the relationship played out as a screaming match or as a delicate parting of ways, “the time after” always arrives, along with the terrifying thought of, what now?”

Questions asked usually include, where to go from here? Will there ever be love again? And most importantly…what will I do in the meantime? Well, the answer is simpler, easier, and more drama-free than most of us could ever fathom. Put simply, the answer is – just stay single for a while.

There lies a fear among all within the dating realm of clicking “single” under the relathionship status bar of Facebook. Yes, that means that there is not that someone there for romance, laughs, and physical affection, but it does not mean that the person experiencing “the day after” is worthless, is any less attractive than they were the day before, or is any less desirable to potential suitors. Believe it or not, is ok to be single sometimes, and here’s why.

Analysis. The time after a breakup should be used not in search of a rebound relationship, but as a time of analysis of the previous relationship. Why not use “the time after” as a learning experience? The only way to avoid the same mistakes in future relationships is to fully understand what was wrong in previous unsuccessful attempts. There are several key areas to focus on, including reasons for the break-up, the mistakes made by both parties, and the personal attitude toward future relationships. For example, if the relationship that just ended was because it was drama-filled, make a personal mantra that the next person dated is drama-free.

Self-Improvement. My favorite way to use “the time after” is for self-improvement. This can mean different things to different people. For me, self-improvement might be taking a long run in the park, crossing things off of my to-do list, or shopping. Basically, being single for a while is a great time to work on personal goals and issues. The time off from a relationship is wonderful opportunity to work on physical fitness, read books, listen to great music, go shopping, and basically get yourself together before the dating process begins again.

Mapping the Future. In the days and weeks after a relationship ends, it is human nature to begin to desire a new relationship. Rather than rebound with someone sub-par right away, use this time to plan for the significant other of the future. Some of the best advice I have heard is to take out a sheet of paper, and write down all of the qualities desired in a perfect partner. Then when considering a relationship in the future, use the list to narrow down whether the person is really right for you.

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