A family unit can become fractured for a variety of reasons. Divorce, addiction, and even illness can drive a wedge between family members. Although relationships between brothers and sisters, as well as between parents and children can have a history of not being optimum, it’s never too late to change them. If you wish to either reconcile with an adult child, your elderly parent, or your sister or brother, don’t despair; there’s hope.
Let me, however, begin with a disclaimer. If you have been the victim of sexual, physical, or emotional abuse at the hands of a family member, it may be prudent to NOT reconcile with the offending party. Your own mental health takes precedence in all relationships. Yet, if your relationships with family members have become strained due to less toxic reasons, the healing that a reconciliation will bring to your life is well worth the effort.
My first example of a relationship reclaimed concerns my brother. As a teen, he experimented with drugs, which led to a stint in jail. My parents tried to help him get back on the right track, but he chose the wild life. In fact, he literally dropped off the face of the earth for ten years. My parents were heartbroken of course, not knowing if their son was alive or dead. Thankfully, he finally turned his life around. It took time, but he is again part of our family, and his relationship with my parents is now strong.
A second example of a relationship healed centers around my nieces and my other brother. After a nasty divorce, my brother’s two daughters would barely speak to him. No matter how hard he tried, they refused his attempts to be a part of their lives. He did miss out on a lot, from their high school dances to their first boyfriends, but this past month they have started the long process of healing. Because my brother never gave up, the girls have now opened their hearts to him. It is wonderful that my sibling feels positive about the possibility of forging new bonds with them.
The final, and perhaps most poignant, example of a relationship healed focuses on my elderly parents.  My mother and father never were very loving towards each other. They had explosive arguments, and they basically lived separate lives. Sure, they stayed together for over 50 years, yet they didn’t seem to like each other. Over the past year, this has changed. Forced to face my mother’s impending death from cancer, they have had to set aside petty differences and old hurts. Now they call each other “honey,” they hug, and they rarely spend any time away from each other. In a way, it’s sad that they didn’t express such affection earlier, but it’s a miracle they chose to do it now – when time is of the essence.
The point is – if a relationship is important to you, do everything you can to make it work. Sometimes, time does heal wounds!
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