Throughout a person’s life, he or she comes in contact with hundreds of people. Some of these meetings will result in friendships, either temporary or lasting, some will even lead to love; however, not every meeting will end on a good note. In life, there will be times when a relationship ends badly. Realizing this early on can save a sensitive person a lot of heartache.
Relationships occur at school, at work, at church, and in recreational settings. It’s a rush to meet someone new that shares similar values and goals – someone with whom you feel a connection. Although the friendship may not last, because a semester or job ends, when the two part ways, they feel enriched for having known each other.
I remember a wonderful woman I met while in graduate school. Lenore, a fifty-something teacher from Cleveland, Ohio, took me under her wing. We discussed children’s literature, we took long walks around campus, we shared teaching strategies, and we even shared dinners at a local hot spot.
When I asked Lenore why she was so nice to me, she simply stated that she liked me; I seemed like the daughter she never had. Simply put, for a summer school session, Lenore and I really enjoyed each others’ company. Every now and then I think of her kindness to a young woman far from home, and I smile.
In contrast to that happy memory, I have also met a few people that simply did not like me. A sensitive person, I used to be sent reeling whenever I found out that one student out of 100 gave me a poor rating for the semester, or that one of my husband’s co-workers found me to be “cold,” even though I enjoyed close relationships with many of his other work friends.
I learned, however, that because of the sheer number of people that inhabit this great big world, there will be cases where two people will not mix. Maybe the personalities do not mesh, or maybe one person finds the other person odious as she resembles a hated sister-in-law, or maybe one of the two just doesn’t like to make new friends, but whatever the case, some meetings will not result in warm fuzzy feelings.
I took me years of growth to finally figure out that no matter how hard a person tries, there will be times when friendships will not result, and that bad-mouthing will occur instead. It’s at these times when it’s appropriate to take a deep breath, to realize that it’s great to be liked, but to be liked by everyone remains an impossible goal.
Now instead of wishing everyone I meet at work or socially will find me pleasant and worthy of friendship, I focus on the many friends I already have. If I do happen to make another friend – great. If I don’t – it’s not the end of the world. Besides, I still find myself fun, interesting, and a joy to live with. I can’t ask for more than that!
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