Most people understand that money will factor into a marriage. How a person handles his or her money, how generous he or she is with it, and even how much money a person earns each month, will all affect the quality of a relationship. Some statistics proclaim that 7 out of 10 married couples regularly disagree over money, and even if the number isn’t that high, this issue still warrants discussion. Here are two cases where money ruined a love relationship.
It’s Mine, All Mine!
Here’s an interesting scenario: A newly retired man woos a divorced woman by treating her to extravagant dinners, to fabulous weekend excursions, and to rides along the beach on his Harley…all while still being married! Blinded by this show of wealth, the woman rationalizes the fact that he is cheating on his wife with her. He does end up marrying this woman, but soon after the wedding license is filed, he begins to show his true colors. Suddenly, all of his money, including his luxury cars, become “his,” while his new wife works to pay most of the bills. After all,” he states, “you paid your way before you married me!”
Although this woman may have thought she would share her husband’s wealth, the fact that he had cheated on his first wife with her should have been a huge red flag. And also the fact that he stated he would not mix finances with her after they married should have tipped her off to his selfishness.
Lesson: Be wary of a man (or woman) who throws around money while dating, as he (or she) may not be as generous as one hopes!
We’re Married Now; I Don’t Need to Work
I have another story: A woman with a huge personality, but with a history of bankruptcy, works as a manager at a local business. She latches onto one of her co-workers, and she makes sure they hit it off. They marry in a small ceremony, and after a honeymoon to paradise, they return home to resume their work schedules. But wait, she decides she no longer wants to work; she deserves to stay at home. The man is blindsided, yet he agrees to his new wife’s wishes. They hadn’t talked about living only on his income, so he is not prepared. In order to make ends meet, he must work 60 hours per week.
This man thought he had found his soul mate, but what he actually found was a new liability. His red flag should have been the fact that she had had financial trouble her entire adult life, including several visits to court. Another red flag was that she refused to discuss finances, even concerning the wedding.
Lesson: Be wary of a man (or woman) who has a terrible financial past, and who refuses to discuss future income.
Money Advice
Before marriage, money issues, including work plans, need to be discussed. Both parties involved need a clear picture of how money may affect the relationship.
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