In my own experience, as well as the experiences of my friends, long distance relationships never seem to work out. At their conception, long distance relationships seem like great solutions; however, when things begin not to work as they once used to, they can be depressing, unfulfilling, and downright awful. As someone who has been involved in a long distance relationship, I can say that it was difficult to say the least. Others I have known have also tried, but nine out of the nine relationships failed in the end due to that one key problem of distance. Before deciding to enter a long distance relationship, there are a couple of points to keep in mind.
Pros and Cons. Keep this one a secret from your partner when you do it, but make a pros and cons list of the benefits of starting a long distance relationship versus breaking up with the person and accepting the sad fact that the relationship was not meant to be. This is a tried and true method of getting thoughts and priorities in line before making such a huge decision. Who knows, maybe your partner has made a list all their own.
Realism. When discussing with your partner about the long distance aspect of the relationship, it is imperative to be realistic. It is important to discuss that each of you will be leading separate lives, possibly thousands of miles apart. This being said, agreeing to a relationship is like agreeing to cut yourself off from the romantic world except with a human being who is literally far out of reach. Be sure to note that as time progresses, communication will inevitable become more difficult, and nearly impossible on some days.
Communication. Someone once told me that it was difficult for them to continue a relationship with me if I was going to be out of communication for three weeks. As ridiculous as that was, I was appreciative that the person told me up front that communication would be a problem. It is important to discuss with your partner how much communication each of you expects per day, and then also discuss the inevitable problem of conflicting or busy schedules. If the ground rules for communication are set out ahead of time, you can see if the amount and type of communication will truly support a relationship. Of course, once you decide on frequency, you also want to make sure that you have a good internet connection to support your messaging and video calls. There are many great options out there, such as these att internet plans, for you to choose from, so you should be able to find something that suits your budget relatively easily.
Goals. A major factor in the decision will ultimately be what your end goal for the relationship is. It is important to ask yourself if you really see yourself being with this person forever. If from the very beginning you are unsure of a long distance relationship, it would seem that that would be a red flag saying not to go through with it. If you cannot firmly believe that the person will make as much effort to keep in contact with you as you will with them, then they are surely not worth the time and effort of a long distance relationship.
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